Nicole Laura (cryophelia) wrote,
Nicole Laura
cryophelia

Etch'a'Sketch

reading :White Oleander: and forgetting the time. Or remembering that it doesn't matter.
"After all the fears, the warnings
After all
A woman's mistakes are different from a girl's
They are written by fire on stone
They are a trait and not an error...

It was worse than I told you so."

Started it tonight. Read much. Already in love. I had such a bloody fucking busy weekend. don't use dirty words at work; Bothers Will. What you're after when you're browsing... I am tired, but when I tried to sleep I just lay there with eyes closed. A rest of something, a rest at least is a rest. Such a busy weekend. Begin. Girly girls, young girls, cousin jess, so simple and so complex, pretty curly hair always hidden. Shame. Off work on Wednesday, don't notice. Window shopping with Andrea. Soft silk flows. Goodbye. Rich. I am saving money for my computer, and I wonder what I will do next year when I will make so much less. What is minimum wage compared to what I get for what I do now? Nothing. Everything to be doing something I want and love? Laziness. "What happened to what we talked about? You can't make those kinds of decisions without talking to me. We need to get together and talk." Boss? Boss. I forget and that is a good thing. I forget and that is a bad thing. I forget the internet exists. I forget about anything that is not reminded to me or in front of my face. Itch. Driving sunburn/tan. I have so many freckles. Did I always? I know my schedule for next year. I know I will change it. That will make someone smile. I forgot to continue. Continue. Mornings of waking up every half hour or so and going back to sleep. Forgot about him. Now I remember because it's tomorrow/today. I will sleep late tomorrow. Woken up with blueberry handfulls. Cherry thoughts. Bought a card for my mom Sad face, who will hug me, i miss you. Message for me and her. Private lives are no secret? what? Continue. Tennis. Girly gossip. Teasing youth. Youth mentality. Fireworks and guessing. Proud to be an American plays. First and not time. So sweet to have this moment here. Choreagraphed oohs aahs ohhs. Running, sprinting, each connected by a hand, an unbroken chain flying. Towards the busses. Laughing. So much laughter this weekend. Latenight Portland felt nostalgic. Take the girls to grandma's. So sick, stomachache from icky Elephant Ear. "I don't feel good" "Ben!". Rotted carcas. Go to the movies. Fib about the girls to G. See :The Importance of Being Earnest:. Not good. Nothing like :An Ideal Husband:. Sucky! Spontaneous. Andrea Again. Need blanket. Montage, Rockbottom Brewery, driving, shoes people. Claustrophobic. Why do I always have to see people I know from my past life? Kyle: bad poem guy, perfect smile, so cute, short. Hate him. Seated right next to me at Montage. Yuck! I think now, yes now, I miss the easy laughter and simple funness atmosphere Katrina and I always had. Friends. They are never the same. To my house sleepover, Andrea and I are tired, up early next morn, shop at very cheap stores, but money is money and stuff is stuff. I like Andrea's house, Antiques abound. Cool(don't use that word much anymore. why not. use rediculous. love rediculous. times change, people change, words change, i take that back, people don't change, circumstances do.). Just glad to get one and a half alone time this week/weekend, so tired of people, just need to spend time with me it was too much. Not used to this. I like being with me so much. Spent time on the internet today, just looking, still not used the amazon gift certif. won. Glad I figured out the freecell game. Time to read. I love being alone!
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