funny as i sit here waiting for the page to load i think to myslef words that i have repeated several times. That if you are unhappy with something or the way something is working out, the only person to blame is yourself. YOU are the only one with the power to change your life, or at least mostof the time or peices of it, so if you are happy it is also the result of choices you have made so if i am unhappy or happy the only person to blame is me and i have to look inside myself to find what i am searching for. I know what i have done wrong, i think and i can analize other people and ponder why someone may have done this or that they hurt me because of that, but i had the power to change these things and I can analize situations to death, but the only answers i can find will arise within me will bubble up in my head in my throat and sputter out or float up becauseI have found them. I can't control other people. The only person I have responsibility for and whose actions are my doing is me and I need to reapeat this to myself. SO as i watch the page load I type without applying pressure to keys, "Blame is in here." over and over and over and I begin to heal.